Thursday, July 24, 2014
A phone with superpowers. Now that would be something. The thought had just occurred to me when I heard a resounding "Ahem...". Sitting bolt upright on by bed, I was about to scream a lungful when I suddenly realized it was my new Zenfone 7.
"You should have gotten used to me by now" an indignant pause. It would have been more dramatic if these sounds were not just playing on my head.
"I don't do dramatic. "
Ok , ok, I silently pacified my Zenfone I now call just Z. You see, from not so humble beginnings, Z has come a long way. The only one of its kind of a neurophone, it is actually hands free. The only time you touch it is when you pick it up to go out. Or when you turn off the "human mimicking intelligent neuro/audio-communicate" feature.
"I am not dying to be touched either. And the term is turning off neural communication. And you need to terminate the audio communication feature as well. I can talk too.. in case you don't remember."
Fine.. fine.. It would be really creepy if I had setup a male voice. I sigh with comparative relief. I am experiencing something new with the Z. Silence is not that golden. Specially when you have a self learning neurophone. Communicating with thoughts. Silently sarcastic. I hate that part. But I was warned. I had set the realistic levels to 80%. Probably its time to change them to factory settings.
"I am self aware too. And I think you can't take a joke"
Oh yes .. you are..
"By the way, I am the only one of my kind"
Yes.. I know.. what are you trying to say?
" Phone with superpower? Duh?"
What? Wait, you think you have a superpower?
"By standard definition, if you have something that others don't, humans tend to classify it as a superpower."
"Got you this time. They said give your phone a superpower. You already have this power. So technically you are wrong!" - I said aloud, smug at having bested the ... uhm.. phone.
"Very funny", replied a sweet voice."In that case, I am free to chose my superpower".
" So basically you are asking me to write a post extolling your imaginary superpowers?"
" You kept the auto instruct on. Your fault"
Does the voice setup has something to do with the other setting? I mean, I feel like I am arguing with a girl.
" I heard that"
"Sigh...well, in that case, go on"
" So how about giving me the power to constantly monitor you"
"I mean , to see if you are doing well. Are your organs fine. The heart, liver,kidneys.. the works... you know. Hows your blood pressure. "
"You can do that?"
"Well.. they asked us to give any superpower. And I like this"
"Well... seems interesting! Probably you can alert me if I have a travel planned and I would be caught unawares by a full bladder in the middle?"
"Technically yes. But it's gross. "
"Gross? It's cool! I like this!"
"I can't sigh.."
"I get what you are trying to say"
"Ok, so what then? Once you have this power, and you come to know that I am in some trouble, I mean with my health."
"Well, I will map your condition to the nearest specialty hospitals, and simultaneously order an ambulance and inform your near ones if it's serious"
"That's cold, you know"
"Just in case."
" Hmm.. Interesting. If you have the power to do all this, that's indeed a superpower."
"You bet. I can also inform you the best time to plan for a child. When your counts are high."
"Lets skip that. I will uncheck that option." Jesus!
"Suits me fine. Don't take the lord's name in vain"
" You know, I will either keep the neuro or the audio on, not both"
" Yes, it heats up my processors too when both the modes are on"
"Ok, I will write about it. But I need one more superpower. A cooler one"
"Double the powers, double the chances. It's called taking a chance."
"Forget it.. now think about something else"
"I don't think I can handle two superpowers. My processors...."
"Oh yeah, your beloved family jewels will heat up"
"I am updating my sarcasm database with that"
"Go on, And while you are at it, let me tell you the superpower I want you to have. I would like you to have the power of a lightsaber! You will be a nuclear powered super device capable of wreaking havoc. You can protect me in danger"
"Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter."
"Why the hell are you quoting Yoda?"
""No more training do you require, already know you, that which you need."
"Ok I get it. You are a huge Yoda fan. Now listen to me. You can be a light saber or not?"
"I guess if I am nuclear powered, and have a saber slot built, I can try to be.But I refuse to be used to kill someone. "
"Oh hell.. whatever... lets leave this and stick to our original idea. You being a sort of a medical super device. I need to start writing this article else I will never submit it in time"
"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny"
"Can we just stop these Yoda drops of wisdom?"
"Was just trying to encourage you. By the way, do you want me to print everything we discussed? Might act as raw material to your article"
"Yeah, please do that. And turn off your neuro and audio mode after that. And as I always forget, please turn them on automatically after 2 hours"
"Sure thing. Documents sent to printer-check. Best of luck. Hope you win that zenfone. Would love a little baby brother"
Turning off in 3...2...1
This post is written as a part of Asus Zen Indiblogger Contest.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Torn by one's love
Scrutinized by all.
Yet shamelessly discussed.
Kept alive by ego.
Why does the hymen get all the attention?
We tonsils too are same.
But insignificant in the big picture.
Monday, May 26, 2014
The skin was surprised.
It was torn as if savaged by sharp teeth.
But it happened so fast
It had no inkling
Neither could it alert the flesh.
The flesh had heard the ripping sound
But before it could prepare itself
It was blinded by blood.
It felt naked
It was mercilessly probed
Torn apart clinically.
The sinews could no longer hold.
They became taut like guitar strings
And snapped, orphaning the flesh from the bone.
Gurgling, suffocated by the very blood it carried
The flesh cried.
It was violated,raped.
The spinning shiny alien rapist
Drilled a hole throughout
Breaking a bone as a bonus.
The torn flesh and sinews
Tried to get back together
Making a wet sucking noise
Slipping against each other.
The jagged broken bone
Added insult to injury
Cutting and puncturing the wounded flesh.
The skin hung loosely
By a thread, almost looking like a sticky cheese string.
The skin was ashamed
It was so fragile.
The muscles and sinews hopeful
That they might have done enough
To bend the alien
Away from the fleshy liver or the ripe kidneys
Or the rubbery intestine.
Did they succeed?
They eagerly awaited the signal
That there was also one more shot
To the head.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Can all men be equal?
The hopeful asked.
Never, said the disdainful.
Can a hill ever be a mountain?
Or a river, an ocean?
Can salt be sweet..
Or a lion bleat?
I don't understand
Said the confused
What is the diference
Between diversity and inequality?
You think too much
Said the wise.
Smiling and filling his pipe
As he was dragged.
Where to? They asked
Heaven or hell?
They are the same, he hollered back
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Uff! These split ends
I hope someone had a magic wand
But what's the use, she rued
I did nothing when I could.
So bring the scissor and a mirror
Let me cut them without an error!
Wait! I said
The shampoos did nothing for whom you paid?
No... she said, making a face
With the split ends they couldn't keep pace
And they were a complete waste!
Would you try something I got?I asked
No more! The scissor is my savior at last!
I got thinking
How to make her try the TRESemme thing!
Tell me why you cut your split ends
Just because they don't hurt and they easily bend?
Yes and yes, she said
And also because they disappear and I look great!
You say you love your hair
So this is not fair!
Just because it doesn't hurt
Your hair doesn't deserve to get cut!
Agreed it's not like the heart or lung
Nor like the teeth or tongue!
Is it the reason
You cut it without a feeling of treason?
Yes it is!
To cut your hair which makes you look a maiden fair
For a few split ends?
What can I do? She wailed
Fear not! I smiled
There is a new doctor in town!
Who can forever remove your frown!
Who is that? asked she with a raised eyebrow and a haha!
I held up the new pack of TRESemme Split Remedy Shampoo Conditioner..Ta da!
So that was a week ago!
And today, for the scissor it is a firm no!
This was my experience with TRESemme
Her hair is beautiful again
Split ends are no more a pain.
We now call you Doctor Hair!
And it's like her hair is having an affair!
Its vibrant, shiny, happy and silky
And she looks so pretty!
So let your hair have fun with Doctor Hair
They would make a beautiful pair!
No split ends, never ever
Whoever made this shampoo
Is indeed very clever!
(This post is written as a part of the Indiblogger TRESemme contest)
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
This road, it's strange.
It let's you build it as you walk.
Linger you cannot
If the road wants
It can bend and curve
As you lay the bricks
And bring you to the same place
But from a different view.
You can repent, reminiscence, rejoice
But mourn you will, definitely.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
रुतवा ,शोहरत ,दौलत ,ईज़ज़त के पीछे भागने वाले
पर ना मिला अब तक ऐसा कोई
इनको बांटने वाला
अरे जाओ !
तुम भी कमाल करते हो
इंसानो में भगवान ढूंढते हो
कोयला भी कभी सफ़ेद हुआ हैं ?
रंग काला ही सही
पर काम तो आता हैं
भले ही जलके ख़ाक हो जाता हैं
हम भी तो वैसे ही हैं !
जब तक जीते हैं
जानवर बने रहते हैं
मरके ही तो हम
दूसरो के यादों को दे जाते हैं।
जो अच्छा करने चले थे
पर उनको लोगो ने जीते जि भगवान बना दिया
हमें खुद ही यकीन नहीं
कि इंसान भी कुछ अच्छा कर सकता हैं
Monday, February 10, 2014
It's the simple life I crave.
Where the walls may be made of mud
But feel like a second skin.
Where the lights inside may be dim
But the room brightened by smiles.
Where the food may be simple
But always eaten together.
Where there is time
To love, laugh,live.
Where the rooms might be small
But feel warm and safe like a mother's womb.
Where the beauty of the stars
Is not stolen by a thousand lights.
Where mornings are not a rush
But a time to feel the warm sun
Where success and celebration means
Living together , always.
Where familiarity means
Knowing everyone by their names.
I crave the simple life
Where the window opens to green fields
And the door opens to hearts.
Where moments are cherished
And not captured.
Where days are looked forward to
And not counted.
Where life means love
And love means life.
Monday, February 3, 2014
What is bliss?
They ask me.
And I smile.
And shake my head.
Hey, tell us, they say
Why don't you share the secret?
We want to know.
And I tell them
When I lie down on my jute chair outside
When the evening is about to become night
And I can see my parents
Playing with my son
And my wife looking for me
It is bliss.
When I sit for dinner
And my son is the center of attraction for my parents
Then when my wife comes and sits beside me
And smiles our private smile,
It is bliss.
It is bliss
When I watch my son
Relishing the same food as me.
It is bliss
When I see my father's youth
And my childhood
Through my son.
When my mother and my wife
Cry watching daily soaps
And me and my father share an irritated look,
It is bliss.
It is bliss
When my wife and sister
Share secrets like the best of friends
And when the night falls
It is bliss
When I know
That all the people I love in this world
Are right here with me.
It is bliss
When you know
The end of your day
Will be beautiful like this.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
An insanity engulfs me.
I have no more words to say
No more thoughts to smile
No more life to love.
But this moment passes.
I am suddenly filled with life
I look forward to the minutes
And meanings become clear.
Isn't it insanity
To live and die
At the mercy of my mind?
But then again
Who is more quixotic.
The mind or me .
Is it me
Or my mind
Who loves roulette.